How Do Men Stay Faithful in a Sexualized Society?

October 4, 2016

160829-abedin-weiner-split-inside-feature1.jpg(left, Anthony Weiner with Ex, Huma Abedin: A Lesson for all Men?)

Anthony Weiner is the latest in a long list of men
who have been destroyed by sex addiction. 
How do men resist temptation
in a society mad about sex? 

by Henry Makow Ph.D.

Anthony Weiner was a rising politician who destroyed his career because he is addicted to "sexting." 

He had to resign from Congress in 2011 for posting a Twitter picture of his bulging shorts, and lost the New York Mayoralty race in 2013 for sexting young women who were not his wife. He was leading in the Mayoralty race until the scandal broke. 

His wife since 2010 was Huma Abedin, Hillary's chief aide rumoured as the designate Secretary of State in the unlikely event of a Clinton presidency.  Huma divorced Anthony a month ago after he included his three-year-old son Jordan in a (not nude) picture. Clearly he was becoming a political liability for Huma's boss. 

Since then, Anthony had yet another sexting setback, this time having schoolgirl rape fantasies with a 15-year-old girl.  Criminal charges have been muted.


 Anthony Weiner is an universal laugh stock, dismissed as a lost cause. So "Weiner", a fly-on-the-fly film account of his doomed 2013 Mayoralty race surprised me in many ways. I didn't expect him to be so impressive as a politician and likeable as a human being. I know his addiction is perverted, degrading and pathetic but many politicians have done much worse. Yes, he broke his marriage vows in spirit but no one has accused him of physically cheating. 

I was even more surprised by Huma Abedin who I dismissed as Hillary's lesbian lover (with Weiner as her "beard.") She came across as very "wifey" deferring to her husband and dutifully phoning Hillary's network to raise money for his campaign. Indeed, she stuck with him through the Mayoralty scandal and after. I was surprised at how they seemed like an average married couple with a toddler. 

Weiner destroyed his career because he couldn't overcome his sex addiction. New York City is a highly sexualized environment.  Sex is a unit of exchange. NYC is on the vanguard of a worldwide trend to make sex even more accessible.  Sexual depravity is the hallmark of satanic possession so it is encouraged. Under the guise of "sex ed," public schools groom children for sex. They are not taught that sex should be confined to marriage (i.e. love and commitment.)  Most single young people are on Tinder or a similar dating site. 

The Internet has made hooking up or cheating fairly easy. We are bombarded with images of beautiful half-naked women, even if we don't watch porn. Young women are taught to measure their value in sex appeal. They're likely to hook up just to prove something to themselves. We have all been inducted into a society-wide sex cult. 

Although most men have more self-control than Weiner, we all hear the same siren calls.  Weiner had even greater temptation because power is the ultimate aphrodisiac and attractive young women besieged him. 


Despite the appearance of normality, it's hard to believe Weiner would be a sex addict if he had satisfying sex with his wife.  It's easier to believe that Huma Abadin turned a blind eye to his behavior, and that this was part of their "arrangement." 

Happily-married men are in a better position to resist temptation and stay faithful. 

Anthony Weiner Huma Abedin_30884402_3688754_ver1.0_640_360.jpg
Why would a man stray if he had exactly what he wanted? Bad marriages are the main cause of cheating. 

But good sex isn't enough. The promise of good sex is everywhere. There must also be a loving bond that is independent of sex, a commitment to another human being.   This bond is based on many things, e.g. mutual dependence, trust, gratitude and respect. A wife who accepts her husband's leadership will be rewarded by his love i.e. "protection." This bond is strengthened by sexual intimacy.  

A deeply felt commitment to your spouse is the best way to avoid the pitfalls of promiscuity and the fate of people like Anthony Weiner.

Related- Makow- Having Sex is Not Making Love
Weiner Doc Trailer
Positive review of Weiner documentary - 
Short History of Weiner's career
Cabala- How Sex became Our Religion

First Comment from Marco D:

 I just turned 40, and your informative articles still confirm much of what I see in our world.

I am still happily married,  now with 2 beautiful growing children! (8 and 5 yrs old).  My wife for over 12 years is an awesome mother and does a great job with the everything around the house.    I work and help out too - but she is the leader in the home and I can still be the man in the world.   

People say we are lucky.  I don't believe in luck.  We made choices long ago that have helped define our current reality.  Choices like fidelity, a love of God, no day-care ever for the children, eating healthy food, zero vaccinations, etc.   

Yes there have been upsets and arguments over the years.  Things are not always perfect and yes we do fight sometimes.  However we recognize that these things that come up can be worked out if we stay open and available to each other.

Here are some basic observations I have made which define my reality:

1.  Children need their parents ALOT when they are young.  Parents - you need to be there for them during the first few years as much as possible.  As they grow - you can encourage them to develop outside bonds and friendships.

2.  Do not use daycare ever.  Do not use before or after school daycare.  Do not use iPads as a babysitter.  

3.  I don't cheat on my wife.  My wife doesn't cheat on me.  We joke about certain situations and can laugh together about people trying to hit on us when we are out separately :) 

4.  We talk about God to our children and they love it.  We do not go to church or practice any faith but we spend time in nature and define God as that love that surrounds us.

I did not attend university and I credit my moderate success in life to thinking for myself.  College programs, a top quality martial art dojo and Sensei, and good books are handy tools for success in this day and age.   

The John Taylor Gatto material is great.  Anastasia and The Ringing Cedars of Russia series by Vladimir Megre is also very interesting.  

I will pass on what I have learned to my children which they in turn can pass along to their children.  What a concept!

Thanks Henry for being a source of inspiration to me and many others.  Keep up the great writings.

BTW:  If you haven't already, please look into Professor Janice Fiamengo at UofOttawa.  Her talks are well presented and timely!

Comments for "How Do Men Stay Faithful in a Sexualized Society?"

KS said (October 5, 2016):

Don't be surprised by Huma's actions. She was simply attempting to be a good wife as directed probably by the Koran and the manners her family taught her. There is a rumor floated by the Shahs of Sunset, that Iranians in LA reality show provided by Bravo. It's disgusting by the way, but I watch it due to personal interest. That rumor is Iranian men are extremely active at nearly any age, in their sexuality. Huma may not have been surprised by Anthony's activities and as taught stood by her man. Huma is Iranian isn't she? That is what I believe. I may be wrong.

What surprises me is Anthony allowed his activities to go so public knowing that would hurt Huma. That may have been the idea. He may have been jealous of his wife and her high standing. Huma would know this and in the way she was brought up she would understand it, but her loyalties were divided. She apparently did all she could do to support Anthony until that last incident got the best of her. Child porn in any form is not allowed for most normal individuals in their thinking. It simply is not acceptable. I don't accept it. What if it was a baby sitter and not her husband? Or the nanny? What would happen to that person's reputation? Anthony got what he deserved this time.

After being married to a Kurdish Iranian I understand what Huma was/is going through to a point. I didn't and couldn't accept it at the time. But it was flaunted in my face as Anthony did to Huma. There's only so much of that a woman will take. The man is not honoring the woman. That works both ways. He's got to go. I understand that.

So Huma did what she had to do. And she has to protect her child. Forget her boss. She has to protect her child. And I remember too what was told me would happen to a man caught abusing a child in Iran though that info was told to me more than 30 years ago, it probably still survives in Iran today. Yes, she had to leave that man.

G said (October 5, 2016):

With Weiner, I often thought it was more than being "destroyed by sex addiction." I read him as a player, a player in the plan, you know, the big plan to kill bonding, love, family, etc., everything you perpetually expose.

And when thinking about my own relationship with my husband and what creates a "loving bond," what I'd add to your list of "commitment" with "mutual dependence, trust, gratitude and respect," is the benefit of being nurturing and supportive. If only one person is giving back-rubs, it ain't gonna work. And who doesn't need to be supported by a spouse, not just in personal endeavors, but also in emotional challenges. That support is invaluable. Also, share in creating healthy and genuine relationships with extended family, friends, and community.

I'd also add, don't hold in (internalize) feelings, and practice deep listening with intention to co-create solution. Secrets and hidden agendas create distance and suspicion and dilute intimacy and trust. I've learned that words can lie, but vibrations do not. It's easy to feel/sense when someone's not a happy camper, when something is off and needs attending. Clearing and processing must be given the time it needs and occasionally it needs a lot of time. It is very worth the investment of time and effort as the love will very likely deepen and mature. If primary relationship isn't a life's work, I don't know what it. Every effort better than none.

Thanks, Henry. Somehow we shall rescue the disappearing human.

Jennifer said (October 4, 2016):

[I know from personal experience] that sex addiction is an insatiable spiritual demonic affliction; it has absolutely nothing to due with how happy and wonderful and sexual one's wife is.

How do men stay faithful? Do not open the door to Lust Demons. And if one has opened the door close it.

LEE said (October 4, 2016):

You ask the question; "Why would a man stray if he had exactly what he wanted? And then you answer; "Bad marriages are the main cause of cheating".

I'm not so sure its as simple as that you know. You have to first look closely at men and women and then just observe how they both express heterosexuality through the fallen conditions of their respective genders.

Men and women are, as you know, different and thus they have different sexual imperitives, which of course complement each other in the heterosexual union.

Simply put; A man needs to desire a woman. Whereas a woman needs to be desired by a man...

This is all well and good and as intended by our Creator.

However, in our fallen conditions the sexual imperitives in both men and women have the tendency towards being PROMISCUOUS.

How is this expressed in men?
How is this expressed in women?

Well, men are not satisfied with having ONE beautiful woman who they can desire monogamously (as intended by God). Men (in their fallen state) have the tendency to desire ALL beautiful women...

Whereas women on the other hand, are not satisfied with having ONE good man who will desire them exclusively (as intended by God). In her fallen state, a woman wishes to be exclusively desired by ALL men...

Both are expressions of promiscuous lust....and potentially very addictive.

And of course these respective "tendencies" in both men and women are very much being exacerbated and encouraged by those who control culture.

Ziggy said (October 4, 2016):

"Despite the appearance of normality, it's hard to believe Weiner would be a sex addict if he had satisfying sex with his wife. It's easier to believe that Huma Abadin turned a blind eye to his behavior, and that this was part of their "arrangement.""

Exactly -- as is the case with Hillary and Bubba.

As for that clown Weiner, I think you're right in saying his sex life with his wife is probably a disaster: I'd bet a dollar to a dime that Huma and Hillary are a pair of rug-munchers.

..And don't forget Weiner's a secular Jew. Secular Jews and sexual perversion go together like a horse and carriage.

Al Thompson said (October 4, 2016):

When a man allows himself to used by the wrong head, he becomes a slave to the depravity. This is a sign of immaturity which always starts with fornication. Women don't understand the value of her virginity and they ruin their lives by having sex before marriage. Both sexes are responsible for this and the only way I know of to stop these urges is to repeat the commandment whenever one is tempted to fornicate. This works good but sometimes we forget about how important it is to abstain from sex because young people get caught up in the heat of the moment. Just remember, nothing good comes from fornication and it is a bad way to start out in life. Also, in my observations, I'm seeing where marriages are ruined because they started out fornicating.

In the case of Weiner, he seems to have a bad case of sexual addiction. But I think he likes it. The embarrassment doesn't seem to bother him, nor does he care about the humiliation of his wife and young child. The whole society is oversexualized and what might be otherwise good relationships between men and women are being turned into complete disasters.

I have had the opportunity to sit in a living room with a lot of young people and I tell them not to fornicate as it destroys everything in its path. They look at me as if I just came down from Mars. If you want your life screwed-up fornication is one of the best ways to get that accomplished.

Cliff Shack said (March 14, 2008):


Sex is really quite simple. The purpose of sex is to create another human being. Nothing more. This is obvious to those who are not enslaved by their ego. The ego, the thought "I" is just a mental concept and therefore impermanent and unreal. Sex momentarily fosters the delusion that the ego exists. "I" am sexy. Someone finds "Me" attractive. That turns "Me" on. Do it to "Me". Give it to "Me" harder, baby.

To the egoless, sex is a monkey on the back. A biological baby mechanism. Ramana Maharshi said the body is a thought. So sex must be how one thought leads to another on the material plane.

Rixon said (March 14, 2008):

As usual I am pretty in agreement with all you write. But in your latest point I have to differ
where you write: "Masturbating is a far better solution for single men than anonymous sex."

I studied Traditional Chinese Medicine for a number of years and found a wealth of knowledge
therein, much of which I benefited from personally.

Ancient Chinese sages taught that masturbation was not harmful for young boys but the older a man
got the more inimical it became for his health. All those 'old wife's tales' about masturbation
causing "blindness" and suchlike have some basis in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

It teaches that a man's yuan chi, his vital essence can be measured in his sexual energies. In a sense his vital life force – which determines his health and the duration of his life – is stored and expressed in his sexual drive.

Consequently every time he ejaculates he diminishes this store of vital life force and it cannot be replaced. The Elizabethan's were on to this when they referred to ejaculation as ... "the little death".

In contrast a woman's vital energies are stored in her ovaries and expressed when she conceives and gives birth.

However, when a man has sex with a woman there is a mutual exchange of these life forces and
neither has their reservoir of life force depleted – unless, crucially for the woman, she conceives and gives birth.

L said (March 14, 2008):

That was a fine article you wrote on Spitzer. All of those sentiments are mine exactly. I gave up women when I was forty. It was not easy. Forty is pretty much a prime spot. I gave up sexuality with women mostly in return for self-control. I am sixty-eight this month, and a free man. Although I have been told I am not at all an unattractive man (to women), nevertheless, women sense where I am and do not ever try to involve me romantically. I have not looked with lust at a female in more than twenty-five years. I have not been hit on by a woman for more than twenty-five years.

But I get "hit on" by babies, little children and dogs constantly. They all love me and cannot get enough of me, nor I them. It's a love affair obviously made in heaven, because it's perfect and enduring.

Karen said (March 13, 2008):

Thank you for your continued observance of men. If it wasn't for you I would wonder how to bring up my two boys in the musculine sense. I do say to them that they are men, (they are too young to really know what sex it although they know the word). One day, I may have to use a stick to beat away the women who will beat a path to their door, but I'm hoping that one day they can say 'my penis is not who I am, like me for who I am'... one can only hope!

I've been through the androgynous stage in my life, and didn't really like it. I missed the feminine side of things. while my friends went through casual sex, I stood back and watched in horror as my friends went from one floundering relationship to another. I find myself alone these days wondering if I'll find my ideal, but I'm pretty happy with the way things are. reading articles about men being men, and providing for the family, keep your articles coming, it's helping me to understand what the male is about and what's needed for my boys.

M said (March 13, 2008):

Enjoyed your brilliant article titled A Lesson for All Men. My only exception might be the sentence
I'll never understand why a man would ever pay a woman for sexual “gratification.” Why shouldn't she pay him? Sex is just as necessary for her.
If sex were really just as necessary for women they would pay men, but they dont. Men have always paid for sex, either short term: in cash, restaurants, gifts;or as a life-time, financially indentured slave - by getting married.

That little itsy bit of ego gratification and
transient pleasure gets paid for either way. The
former is much cheaper and without the emotional and legal baggage. Women seem to have few skills other than manipulation.

If the man is remotely successful in life, he takes ALL the risks from marriage, and almost none from prostitution.

Excluding religious values and the desire for children there is absolutely no reason for men to marry (the nwo's destroy the "family and population" plan) and what makes most women "attractive" is very fleeting.

Those cats are not just gray in the dark, they are
rotting. As one radio show host says "women want to be loved without being needed", a one way street - their way.

Del said (March 13, 2008):

Congratulations on presenting yet another brilliant article on the true state of sex-control foisted on the common man and woman. Your
words a not falling on deaf ears.

I am happily married man with a real sweet-heart as my wife who is both strong and tender. We are involved in each others lives yet find a balance of power that is equally beneficial. She recognizes and respects my abilities and strengths, and I adore, cherish and protect her unique qualities. In a true union, we COMPLEMENT each other. We
do not compete for dominance.

We are both private music instructors, martial artists and natural leaders. This equality neither diminishes my masculinity nor her
femininity, it actually enhances it! How is this remarkably simple yet so elusive reality attainable: L O V E. Not romantic infatuation but
real love which I truly wish more people would open themselves up to.

Anyone can find this happiness if they really want it. With the arrival of our first child, my wife will happily leave the
workforce. She does so willingly for the betterment of our family, not because I or anyone else has told her to do so. This is true love,
mothering and self-sacrifice. This further empowers me to provide and keep our family safe. What a wonderful arrangement. Once our
children have grown a little, she can easily work from home or elsewhere with skills and abilities she already posses. Bottom line is
that we planned our lives together and recognize as adults should, that self-sacrifice and commitment to greater goals is much more fulfilling that empty sex and casual hook-ups.

There is much hope for all or us. If I can do it, others can as well. To quote a wise human who understood the power of love:

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."


Hat's off to you and yours! Thanks for this inspiring letter.


Andrew said (March 13, 2008):

The entire Eliot Spitzer drama (which was probably motivated as pay-back for his going after Wall Street fraud masters) is entirely overdone by the news.

I actually view Ashley and Eliot as victims in the broader scheme of things... They are very small potatoes.

I'm more interested in the motivation behind the prosecution of Spitzer. Not much news on that subject.

James said (March 12, 2008):

Male mammals are controlled by their dicks to perpetuate the species; female mammals are controlled by their urge to carry the species.
Before you even begin to say, "but we aren't animals," I beg to differ. The urge is strong enough that when Gary Hart, who was a sure
thing to become president, risked it all to "be with" Donna Rice. (By the way, I sat next to Donna Rice and I might have given up the
presidency for a few days with her.)

This is not a moral issue; it is a biological issue that has not been and probably won't be modified by social requirements. Other societies
understand this drive and accommodate it. The US live is a fairy tale land that "if you really loved me," you would have done it. Nonsense.
Men can love multiple women as easily as women can love multiple children.

We are controlled by are dicks. Whether you believe in god or mother nature, it is the way it is.

The only thing Spitzer could have controlled was his holier than thou approach to pursuing criminals.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at